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Too Soft, Too Soon!

Last modified on 2009-04-05 22:13:32 GMT. 0 comments. Top.

Hi,
I just started a new sexual relationship and my male partner who is in his middle 50’s is having trouble sustaining an erection and ejaculating too quickly once inside me. Can you make some suggestions? ie; techniques, books to read, videos to watch, courses to take.

Thank You, In Anticipation.

Seeking Assistance

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Dear  Seeking Assistance,

A Taoist saying goes:
“Death results from Hard entry and Soft retreat. Life from Soft entry and Hard retreat”.
I would suggest this as a daily practice immediately. Do not make having Orgasm a goal. This is not lovemaking. This is your prescription revitalizing the penis and learning how to regain and manage sexual energy.
Have him enter you in a soft or semi-hard state, let him move thus allowing him to get hard while inside you. Let him get use to being inside you and feeling and taking note of the stimulating triggers that send him into the “point of no return”.  Let him tell you as well so that you can see and feel the sexual responses in your pussy that begin to overwhelm him.  Practice finding the edge of your Orgasms together without either of you  (especially him) actually cumming. Fully end this practice in the highest state of arousal possible. If you choose to make love or get each other off afterwards, do it in a totally new unit of time. Come to the next lecture at Sexy Spirits entitled: Cultivating Sexual Energy or get the DVD that is coming out in June 2009.

Anton

Do Women Get Addicted to Pleasure?

Last modified on 2009-02-28 16:15:43 GMT. 0 comments. Top.

Dear Anton’

I’ve been reading a lot about your Becoming Orgasmic Providers for Women and have a few questions. Firstly, how do the women who come to you conduct themselves back into the real world with husbands and boyfriends? Do they form attachments to you given that you maybe fulfill needs that perhaps their lovers fail to do? And lastly, have you ever had a woman whom you provide pleasure for become too enamored with your contact. I ask because you providing them pleasure without strings, totally being there for them, could, I image, become addicting for them.

Need To Know

Dear Need To Know,

Women who come to me for “Do-Dates” are usually very surprised initially when I ask them to tell me and even show me exactly how to please them. They naturally assume that I am some sort of sex master who will automatically bring them into la-la land! I explain to them that ALL men will never know, no matter how experienced they are! I make it her responsibility to ALWAYS guide or teach me exactly what she wants in order for me to please her. After all, who knows better about her own body than herself!  So because women, through my encouragement, become very comfortable in guiding me, they go back into the real world with husbands and boyfriends better able to communicate their needs and more open and willing to teach them , or have them learn. In other words, they realize their responsibility and power in getting the pleasure and fun that they desire in life.

Now as far as women becoming enamored, attached, or addicted, to my touch, I would say that they become more “enamored”, “attached” and “addicted” to freedom. The freedom to safely surrender to their own body’s pleasure, and finally the freedom to invite and guide the men in their lives how to do it for them so that they can relax and surrender fully and more completely into her body!

Loves Cunnilingus But Wife Not Interested

Last modified on 2009-01-23 04:26:45 GMT. 0 comments. Top.

Dear Anton,

I love performing cunnilingus and want to do it more often, but my wife isn’t interested. What would you suggest to get her to be more open to me going down on her?

Love Going South

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Dear Love Going South,

Speaking as a man with strong Latin American origins, tasting a women is, by far, one of my greatest pleasures. And when it to comes what guarantees a woman’s pleasure, cunnilingus is #2 on the list,  second to a well-trained pair of hands that knows how to deliver hours or orgasmic pleasure to women in desire.

Now assuming that your woman enjoys being brought to orgasm, excluding cunnilingus at the moment, then here’s what you do to eventually go down on her.
Offer her a purely hands-on, sensual touching, experience where she agrees to be (along with you) totally focused on HER pleasure. Tell her that you would like her to verbally guide you on how to best bring her pleasure through touch. Be clear that you do not want any reciprocation during this period of pleasuring her and make sure that you are ready to put aside your ego and to listen and follow whatever she says no matter how critical or demanding she may seem. She has to eventually trust that you will not be at all affected by her feedback and direction.  You may have do 2-3 sessions before she feels totally comfortable enough with you to truly focus on her own pleasure (and not yours). Once you are able to pleasure her, though touch alone,  suggest to her that you would like to now bring her pleasure, again with her instruction, using your mouth and tongue. Make sure you emphasize that it’s all about her receiving pleasure, that you do not want any reciprocation,  that you just want to become a great lover for her. She will love that you are truly wanting to focus on her, and because she has learned how to focus on her own pleasure with the touching experience you provided her with, she will be more open to you know using your mouth and tongue in the same way that you were able to use your hands.
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Am I Cheating on My Girlfriend if…

Last modified on 2009-01-23 04:26:09 GMT. 0 comments. Top.

Dear Anton,
“I’ve been unemployed for almost a year, but I made a lot of money when I did work so haven’t had to worry yet.  My girlfriend who lives with me is working long hours and travels a lot.  I sometimes go to strip clubs; and I am strongly attracted to an Asian dancer.  My fantasies now are about Asian women. I want to call one of those numbers and get an Asian girl for the afternoon.  But I am conflicted on several levels–am I being racist?  Would I be cheating on my girlfriend?  Am I already cheating by going to strip clubs?  Should I tell her and ask for permission?  What if she says NO??”
Asian Lust

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Dear Asian Lust,
First, off “being racist” is excluding someone on some level because of their race. So your particular preference for Asian women is simply what happens to turn you on. Now as far as your question about cheating on your girlfriend, either by enjoying your Asian call-girl or going to strip clubs, it sounds like you feel she might have issues with both. So ‘your not telling her’ is always a risk for losing her trust if she were ever to find out. A woman’s trust in her man is never easy to re-establish once she has felt betrayed.
On the other hand, by telling her or getting her permission to get her support in exploring your fantasies, you will have to possibly deal with her NO should that be her response. Now it would be in your ballpark to decide what you want to do with her NO. How much are you willing to work for having both your sexual freedom and a harmonious  relationship at the same time?

The best route, in my opinion, would be total honesty as soon as possible WITHOUT yet having had your Asian girl fantasy. Your going to strip clubs, for most women, is a “misdemeanor”. Kind of like a going out with guys to a sports bar. You could even get away with hot lap dance and at worst be slapped with a “heavy fine’ by the Mrs. On the other hand, being sexually intimate with another women, well, that can get you a life sentence if not immediate execution!

Here’s what I suggest. Be upfront about your strip club escapades. Even offer to bring her just so she sees that “it’s a guys thing”.  Once she’s cool or at least not wanting to get in the way of your innocent fun, arrange at some future date, a safe lap dance with your fantasy Asian girl. Now you can totally decide, as your fantasy geisha undulates her “Buddha” in front of you, whether you need to take it to the next step. If you do, then you have least provided lots of communication beforehand, that can either 1) open the door for more delicate discussions on your desires with one another or, 2) bring on a lighter sentence should you get busted for having a call girl experience and being found out.

I say if you really want to experience all your sexual fantasies before you die, express them first, with your current partner, see where it goes in terms of her support, decide what you can live with or not) and make it a normal way of living with any future relationships in your life from the very beginning.

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